This is the Fourth Sunday of Advent. We are in the final week of Advent preparing for the birth of Christ. One concept in today’s Gospel stands out.
Kindness
How did that Kindness come about?
Matthew tells us that “This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the Holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly.”
It’s hard for us to understand the culture of that time. In our society, it’s acceptable to have sex with many partners and living together instead of marrying your partner is the norm. Sex between engaged couples is commonplace. Today, those who hold to the sanctity of marriage believe it is right to be a virgin on your wedding night are scoffed at and ridiculed.
Father Ron Rolheiser explains “The Jewish law was especially strict as to the couple remaining celibate while in the betrothal period. During this time, the young woman would continue to live with her parents and the young man would go about setting up a house and an occupation so as to be able to support his wife once they began to live together.”
John Pilch gives us a better understanding of the marriage process in the ancient Mediterranean culture.
“Though a betrothed couple did not live together, a formal divorce was required to break the public establishment of the betrothal. Sex with a betrothed woman was considered adultery.
In the ancient Mediterranean world, marriages were arranged by parents to join extended families and not individuals. The bride did not expect love, companionship, or comfort. In this rigidly gender-divided world, men and women had very little contact. Both partners realized that their union was arranged for the political or economic advantage of their families.
The entire marriage process is a ritualized removal of a woman from her family. The groom’s father offers gifts or services to the bride’s father to win the wife he wants for his son. The bride’s father makes the final decision.
The women of both families negotiate the contract to be certain neither family is shortchanged, but the patriarch of each family ratifies the contract publicly. When the groom takes the bride into his home, the marriage process is completed.”
We often think of the Old Testament culture being dominated by men, yet John Pilch tells us that the mothers negotiate the contract to protect their interests even though the fathers ratify it publicly.
Ron Rolheiser writes “Joseph and Mary were at this stage of their relationship, legally married but not yet living together, when Mary became pregnant. Joseph, knowing that the child was not his, had a dilemma: if he wasn’t the father, who was? In order to save his own reputation, he could have demanded a public inquiry and, indeed, had Mary been accused of adultery, it might have meant her death. However, he decided to “divorce her quietly,” that is, to avoid a public inquiry which would leave her in an awkward and vulnerable situation.”
Matthew tells us that “since he (Joseph) was a righteous man” he acted with Kindness.
What did it mean to be a righteous person for Joseph? Ron Rolheiser tells us that “the Joseph of the Christmas story writes his own history: he is presented to us as an “upright” man, a designation that scholars say implies that he has conformed himself to the Law of God, the supreme Jewish standard of holiness. In every way he is blameless, a paradigm of goodness …”
Joseph conformed himself to the Law of God. That is an accomplishment that very few people attain. Each of us here today are following in St Joseph’s footsteps. We are striving to live a life of holiness as we worship in this holy place.
God is always described in the Bible as full of Love and Mercy; in the Old Testament for the Children of Israel and in the New Testament for all people including us today. The final prayer in the Chaplet of Divine Mercy ends with “but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.”
If Joseph conformed himself to the Law of God, he would have lived a life of love and mercy toward everyone he met. This love and mercy revealed itself as kindness toward Mary. He did not want to cause Mary any undue stress even though he had every right.
Both Mary and Joseph had a lot that could go very wrong, but they trusted in the message the angel gave them from God. Mary knew that she could be accused of adultery and stoned to death. And yet she said “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”
Joseph could have publicly shamed Mary to defend his own reputation. John Pilch writes “The honor code of the Mediterranean world demands that no one take what properly belongs to another. Mary’s child is not Joseph’s, so he hesitates to take the child. But if he doesn’t act quickly, he will be shamed. His sense of honor hopes that the rightful father will seize this opportunity to claim the child and marry the woman, Mary. In all of his decisions, Joseph acts very honorably.”
By law, Joseph is entitled to return Mary to her father and expose her to death. He decided to quietly divorce her because he is a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to shame.
Joseph acted with kindness.
Kindness
It’s something we see so little of today. It’s so easy to be upset and angry with people we meet. The rude person in the grocery store, the person who cut us off on the highway, the relative who knows how to hit not just one but all our buttons, or the homeless person on the corner.
Despite all the anger, hatred, hurtful people out there we must act with kindness toward everyone we meet.
As we come to receive Christ in the Eucharist, we must open our hearts and lives to Christ so his Love and Mercy flows through us to others.
Kindness
Will I strive to follow the example of St Joseph in my life? Who will I be kind to this week?
